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RANDOM ACCESS MEMORY

Credits to Don Depresso for the image

Earlier this morning I was at the toilet taking my usual dump routine and all of a sudden I heard the song “Islands in the Stream” by Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton resonating from the room adjacent to mine. I felt nostalgic about my childhood hearing that song. One good memory in particular is when my mom and dad go on a duet with that song especially when he just came home from Saudi Arabia mostly during Christmas seasons. Since I feel nostalgic I took the opportunity to recall some significant things during this vast 26 years of my life in no particular order.

There was this yellow bell tree near our previous house in Las Piñas Metro Manila when I was 4 years old. I remember this vividly because this is the intersection of the street where all my friends gather during those late afternoon street games. I love climbing that small tree because it gives me a sense of freedom that school time is over. Ironically, no memory of my friends at that moment resurfaced in my brain, not even names.

During my 15th Birthday a friend of mine named Carmi gave me some green mangoes freshly picked from their backyard. We had a small talk about my ranting how time flies so fast and I’m 15 already and still a virgin. Yeah, that kind of sounds horrible but that is what came out of my mind that time. I doubt she still remember that funny conversation we had.

I kept my collection of NBA cards during my elementary days and whenever I see them, it always gives me the feeling on how I endured saving a lot of money just to buy one hell of a pack once every two or three months which contain less than 10 pieces of random NBA players and if I’m lucky I might get a superstar. Totally worth it.

Actor David Hasselhoff. I don’t know, but whenever I see his face there are two images I will never forget: Baywatch and Pamela Anderson’s hotness. Me and my dad we’re really fond of watching Baywatch and that was around 1995 and though I was just a kid I already know Baywatch chicks are really gorgeous. The opening song really rocks up until now.

It was probably more than 15 years ago, our ceiling fan at home had four light bulbs with flower-like designs. One of the bulbs is missing because my dad accidentally hit it and broke it to pieces. He was about to hit me with his bare hands because of my stubbornness as a kid. Funny thing I remembered is when he raised his hand and hit it he knew it’s going to fall and he shielded me. I gazed upon his scared face and hugged me asking if I’m alright. Priceless.

How we remember things are a psychological aspect of us being human. There are just some instances in our lives that we will never forget, memories will return weather you see your old scribbles in your bedroom wall and reminded you how badly you cried when your mom scolded you, it can be a very old toy that you used to love or just some random things. You could listen to a good ol’ song that’ll remind you on what you went through during that time in which it could be your darkest days or joyous ones. It is a free pass to the past that you may want to elude forever or yearn and smile for the good old days…

 
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Posted by on November 8, 2012 in Life as I know it..

 

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The Eureka Effect: Cheers to Happiness!

Ever get that feeling of epiphany? When you suddenly realized something? Something you discovered or a potential solution to your problem that left you saying AHA! Yes? Then you’re in the “Eureka Zone”!

A few years back, on an evening like any other, I had a sudden realization: I felt I was in danger of wasting my life. As I stared out the rain-spattered window of a Manila to Laguna Bus, I saw that the years were slowly turning like a page of the book wanting to reach the end.

What do I really want in life? I asked myself while staring at the cold window of the bus looking at people closing their shops and children running home to escape the heavy rains. Fairly simple, my answer is I want to be happy of course. Well I had plenty of reasons to be happy: My family is complete, healthy and getting by, though we are not rich, I can say that we do count our blessings and grateful for everything that we have. I had a handful of trusted friends; I had a girlfriend to rely on and kept me sane during tough times and amazingly she could absorb nearly every rant I threw because I lose my temper quite easily. But hey, really, is this how a happy human behave?

Apparently I jot down some of the things that really matters when it comes to pursuing your happiness. Well, at least for me.

i] One does not simply dwell into petty things. I used to let petty things bother me; it kind of pisses me off when people are talking rude behind your back. Either say it straight to my face or do not talk at all! Momentarily I just got to the point where I just did not care anymore; I could just blow it off. Now I do my best to ignore things that really do not matter and it works for me.

ii] Face your fears. You’ll never know unless you try. I suppose being afraid to talk about your fears is one of the worst fears of all, because to confess your fears is really to expose your innermost self; the part you hide from everybody and even those dearest to you! In fact, the part you’re even trying to hide from yourself, because you’re afraid to think about it. You don’t even want to confess it to yourself that you’re afraid because that would be admitting you’re a coward, and you don’t want to confess you’re a coward for fear of being exposed prior to rejection. Yes that’s the word REJECTION; you are daunted that you will be rejected. One solution I considered is to face your fears and to acknowledge them; even confess them, but to take a positive stand against them of course. In life we all have this skeletons in the closet (mine is under the bed though 😀 ), that we must take care of. It really pays to face your fears and be responsible; recognize they’re there, decide and learn to let it go. Any kind of fear must never let you control your life.

iii] Do NOT let the sun go down on anger or just LET it? Okay so this one might be a little confusing. We all heard that we must let go of any anger we endured before ending the day right? Think about yourself: there is probably never a day in your personal life when you aren’t angry in some way. The crucial question is, “Are you good and angry at the same time?” But a certain individual could only carry so much. Look into your heart and humbly ask yourself this question: How much of my daily anger has anything at all to do with the happiness that I’m seeking?  You could either express the anger regardless how minor or major it is then amplify bad feelings at the end of the day, or just let it, let it dissipate and it could result to your inner peace or just aggravate the depression even more.

iv] Get out of your Comfort Zone. Challenge and seeking new interests are key elements of happiness. This also means learning new ideas: it could be a new game or go somewhere you’ve never been to. An unfamiliar feeling gives me creeps at first, but without it I will never experience something new. Happiest people often seek adventures that could change their life and give more exciting elements while they’re at it.

v] Happiness for sale. They say you can’t buy happiness. I say it depends on the person. I’m a tech savvy and I love gadgets. Material happiness is like if you’re in the sea swimming in the shallowest depths. You still feel the ambience of the sea and you’re okay with that not taking the scuba thingies to dive deeper. Although it might be a temporary happiness, it still amuses you and you get this warm fuzzy feeling of acquiring things you desire.

vi] Listen to people around you. We are social beings. We connect with each other by means of socializing. This generally means that we have to consider other people’s opinions and thoughts then weigh it accordingly. We don’t want to hear the phrase “Cheers to the best advice you didn’t take!”

I want to know things that really matters, I want to live life to the fullest. All these clichés really makes sense to me as I got off the bus that night. As I stare to people trying to live and get by each day, they smile because they are resilient, because tomorrow is another day, another chance to make it right. They already know life is hitting them and they gladly embraced it hoping that one day it’ll all be worth it.

Alas! Cheers to this Eureka! And for two cents worth: “If you’re unhappy or anxious, it’s a sign that your thoughts aren’t serving you and you’re focusing on what you DON’T want. To shift your energy, simply change your focus to what you WANT instead.”

 

 
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Posted by on October 24, 2012 in Life as I know it..

 

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