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SHORT TALK ABOUT CHEMISTRY AND THOSE AWESOME CHEMICALS


Chemistry. I’ve heard some people have it. An attraction that lacks explanation and logic. Your eyes meet, your hands touch, butterflies in the belly and you’re suddenly consumed with another being. You breathe so hard as if it is being taken away, you dream while you’re awake and your heart outraces your mind. You forget anything else because the feeling is exhilarating and so strong that you know the reason why you’ll never settle for anything less. But shit can happen to anyone at any given time. Sometimes intense chemistry is just strong mutual lust and nothing else. It is simply the usual I like you-You like me thing. 

When people brand that a couple has chemistry, they are most probably referring to the chemistry of physical attraction; we see both people in the game attracted to one another and they have something in common, or it could mean no common at all and that will create a hype or a type of polarity which is attractive to both parties, like batteries and the presumption that opposites does attract.

As couples become more intimate, sex plays a vital role and achieving orgasm will foster our desire for long-term commitment. We can actually say that the more intimacy a couple possess, the stronger their bond will be. Explicitly speaking, chemistry can be just sex unless you add the flavor of romance while you’re at it. If you and your partner both recognize the intense catalyst of chemistry as a pure lust craze, you might engage in a brief sexual chance and then split up once you satisfied each other, bringing shadows of sweet memories and no expectancy or outlooks. It’s the ultimate hookup without any pang of conscience. 

Taking this understanding seriously, it can also serve to reduce temptation prior to cheating. Let us take a moment to identify that the chemistry of lust and attraction which we might feel when someone is flirting with us is just a stream of adrenaline or dopamine chemicals. These chemicals secreted by our neurons plays a major role in our brain system that is responsible for the spark that we feel and for the reward-driven learning and thus summon them as chemical messengers.

Since we (or at least me) are fans of romance and its magical forays, why not utilize a little fresh creativity into our current relationship and disburse a little effort so that we can fully assure that we will tread the right path. Just my 2 cents…

 
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Posted by on November 13, 2012 in Love.. and all other crap. <3

 

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She Could Have Been..

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That spark of excitement that we feel whenever we have some random interesting encounters. Me, myself always look forward to these random encounters. This world is so vast that anything could happen. That girl over there walking in the alley with the yellow umbrella could be the one you are looking for. You suddenly felt this urge to catch up with her while walking or you’re hoping that she’ll stop by the near magazine stand so that you could check her out and maybe, just maybe a start of a friendly conversation.

It’s been 9 years since I met this lady. Naalala ko pa hindi pa sikat si Mark Herras at buhay pa si Miko Sotto 😀 and I was still a freshie back in college. During that time I always feel excited going to school not because I just want to learn but I want to make new friends which I did eventually.

Isang araw nag announce iyong classmate namin that they will be celebrating their 18th birthday pero hindi siya iyong lady na tinutukoy ko ha. I was  just 17 that time and she was a year older than the rest of the batch. She’ll celebrate her debut with her twin sister on this very good Resort somewhere in Sta. Rosa Laguna. You could tell na mayaman sila kasi mukhang mamahalin mag pa-reserve at mag rent ‘nung resort na iyon at may dalawa din sila kotse, isang Starex na van at isang Toyota Altis.

So ayun na nga dumating na ang araw ng celebration, naalala ko pa July 05,2003, Saturday iyon ng gabi and the plan is to stay there overnight then uwi kami sa place ni classmate na tawagin na lang nating Daphney upang magpahinga then uwi din kami sa hapon at ihahatid daw kami ng kanyang driver. Since malapit naman ako sa Sta. Rosa, I just told them to pick me up sa Olivarez Plaza (Biñan). The rest of the gang came from different parts of Cavite. Ang call time ko is 6:30pm dapat nasa Olivarez na, so inagahan ko nang 30 mins. para makapag merienda sa McDo kasi malamang late pa ang kainan niyan dahil may mga programa pa like 18 candles, 18 wines, 18 roses and other 18 eklavoos. Nag-prepare na din ako ng speech ko kasi kasama ako sa 18 wines (Oha! Close kasi kami ni Daphney! LOL!). Umorder ako ng cheeseburger favorite ko yun, nakakatuwa ang mga crew sa McDo na iyon parati naka smile at talagang ang nasa counter ay iyong pinaka magaganda sa staff nila. Mahigit 10 years na din akong customer ng McDo diyan sa O.P at iyan lagi ko napapansin, ang mga staff sa counter at ang kanilang pulang mga labi at matatamis na ngiti.

6:30 na ng hapon. Wala pa din sila pero after 10mins. ay may pumaradang starex sa parking ng McDo. Ah sila na siguro ‘to, wika ko. Bumaba si Haj, Angelo, Nelson at si Apples, yung iba ay nasa loob lamang ng sasakyan. Lahat sila mga classmate ko at iyong mga classmate ni Dustine (Daphney’s twin) ay nasa kabilang sasakyan. Bibili daw muna sila ng burger nagutom din eh.

Nagpatuloy ang byahe, medyo traffic sa may Pavilion as usual iyan. Kwentuhan sa van, ‘yung iba gustong gusto na mag-yosi eh. After an hour or so dumating na din kami sa resort na may pagka Kastilla ang pangalan. Let’s name it Villa Eklaber. We unpacked our things and headed straight to our designated room. 2 room for us, one for the boys and the other for the ladies. Naligo pa ulit yung iba dahil sa sobrang init that time. Ako hindi na, nagpabango na lang ako dala ko naman ang Davidoff Cool Water na bigay pa ng aking Ninang 😀

The night was so young; party started at 8pm the usual Filipino time ever! Siyempre prayer muna then konting refreshment also known as Booze which in fact is endless! Talagang sa sobrang dami ng SanMig Light doon na parang walang bukas! Not to mention the Live Band na nagbigay kulay sa party na kadalasang kinanta ay freestyle songs at ang hindi ko malilimutang Thousand Miles ‘nung female vocalist na talaga namang NGA NGA nalang ang nagawa ko :O

Nagsimula ang program, Una muna is 18 gifts andiyan usually mga girls giving gifts to the debutee, madami din silang makapagdamdaming speech ‘yung iba emo talaga mapapa facepalm ka sa kakornihan pero okay ‘yun sa ganoong edad. Ikalawa naman eh 18 Wines, andiyan na kami! Siyempre papahuli pa ba ako sa speech! English pa! Wow! Haha! Meron din 18 candles na nilayasan ko muna kasi nauumay na ako sa hipon na kinakain at sa kinauupuan ko. Lumabas muna ako nagbaon ako ng isang SanMig Light at nagpahangin muna. May nakita akong isang chick sa labas, hindi ko kilala. Ah siguro classmate ni Dustine, may hawak na yosi, fair complexion, above average ‘yung height niya mga 5’5 and a half siguro, nakasalpak ang Nokia 3530 sa tenga niya at malumanay na nagsasalita. Maganda siya, iyon agad ang nag-register sa utak ko. She glanced at me, tingin naman ako sa malayo. She went on with her phone call and I decided to go back na kasi naghihiyawan na ang crowd at parang masaya ang nangyayari sa 18 roses. Paanong hindi sasaya eh invited pala ang ex boyprend nitong si Daphney na ang haba haba ng speech at nagsosorry din sa mga past mistakes niya may kiss pa sa cheek sa huli. Andun din ang current manliligaw niya na may pagka-flip in my very very honest opinion! Weird kasi at kakaiba makangisi at parang mama’s boy. Pero halatang type siya ni Daphney kasi laging kasama sa school at iba ang ngiti ni Daphney habang nag-sspeech siya, siyempre hindi nagpahuli itong si boylet at kumiss din sa cheek, kiligness ever naman ang mga girlaloo sa party.

The party ended up around midnight. Pero para sa karamihan, noon pa lang nagsisimula ang party. Madami akong nakita na palakad lakad sa pool side pero hindi ko nakita sa mismong event. Mga jowaers siguro ng ibang invited guest. Ako nganga na lang walang jowa, sucks to be me. Sila Haj, Nelson at Apples ay naghahanda na para mag-swimming, niyaya din nila ako pero I declined, “later na lang” sabi ko. Nakaka 5 na SanMig na ako ‘nun sulit talaga hehe. Naisipan kong lumabas muli baka andun pa si chikabebe, but to my dismay eh wala na siya so pumasok na ko ulit. Nakita ko ang mga kaklase ni Dustine at nasa isang room sila, bukas ang pinto kaya makikita mo ang activities nila nagyayaya pa nga itong isa sa kaklase ni Dustine na isa na ngayong sikat na artista sa isang kilalang network station at tinuturing siyang “Bad Boy ng Dance Floor”. Napansin kong naglalaro sila ng Kiss & Blow. Simple lang ang mechanics ng Kiss & Blow (or some says Suck & Blow): Girls and boys stand in a circle (boy, girl, boy girl), then they take a card from a deck and pass it around with their mouths…Wherever the cards drops, then those two people kiss. The question is usually “did the person drop the card on purpose, or by accident” ;o) Sounds intimate right? They told me to hop in, alalang alala ko pa sabi nitong si Bad Boy ng dance floor, “Oist tangkad halika dito! Lalaro tayo blow & kiss! Alam mo ba iyong movie na “Clueless”? ganoon na ‘yun”. Tinawag na din ako ng kambal ‘wag daw KJ at birthday nila. So ayun I told myself, I’m getting bored so what the heck. Meet and greet na din sa mga kaklase ni Dustine. I was told to sit down by our very own bad boy ng dance floor. Next thing I remember, my eyes grew wide open nung ‘pag upo ko ang tumambad sa aking gilid ay si chikabebe from outside with the Nokia 3530 mobile phone remember? Right. So nawala ang antok ko. I was like OMG mode during that time! Wahahah. Natameme ako for a moment. Words are playing in my mind, should I drop the card and score or to just play normally and come what may. When it’s my turn to kiss the card I did my best not to drop it. Yeah I didn’t. But damn, there was a hesitation at that instant.

It was already 1:30am when the game and chitchats ended. People went to their respective rooms and some still prefers to swim. I was about to go back to my room when I saw chikabebe and I learned from that game session that her name is Corazon. Corazon huh, whatta name, music to my ears. Like a love song so good I don’t want it to end. So Corazon was alone at the pool side splashing her feet side by side and this time, no Nokia 3530 stuck on her ears for God only knows why and how long. I sat at the pool side 1.5 meters away from her. She looked at me and smiled. “Hey Blow Kisser! Anu meron?” She said. To my awe I replied with “Yo!” 😀 I told myself, so this is it ha. Finally! A chance to talk to her without any distractions. It started out just asking names, last names, course and section, why choose that University and this and that. After 35 minutes, she decided to go for a swim. So she told me to jump in first baka daw kasi di niya abot at malalim. Tama siya! Ang lalim nga pero matangkad ako so it was good enough for me. So I held her up para di siya lumubog at sabi niya hindi daw siya marunong lumangoy. After masabi niya yun yumapos siya sa akin kasi nga para di malunod, I looked up at the starry sky and said “Dear Lord I owe you one, Thank You! <insert heart shape here!> I tried to teach her how to swim pero hindi niya kaya, eh paano ba naman tawa ng tawa nakikiliti eh pag hinahawakan yung likod niya. Ako naman tinatago ko ang pagka kiligness ko at siyempre sa kabilang side iba yung ngiti ng mga kaklase ko dumidiskarteng marino daw eh literally hehe! So it went on like that for more than an hour and one of the best moments in my life. She asked me, You have a girlfriend? Told her, No I’m still searching! Ooww she said. My turn to ask, you have a boyfriend? Please say no gerdemmet, thought to myself. She replied… Well… It’s kinda complicated. Asked me something else, she said. So I felt a bit uneasy after that. I’m 100% sure she has a special someone but maybe on the rocks. After a couple of minutes she told me she has to go and sleep na. So I bid her goodbye but wait! There’s more!! Chenenen! We kissed! Yep for a good 5 seconds. It was a good, wet kiss that I cannot forget. But that’s not all! She said, Thank you. I thought this party would be boring, turns out I’m wrong. We’ll talk again tomorrow. So ako naman napa fist-pump at hindi maalis ang ngiti habang nagpupunas at naglalakad pabalik ng room namin… “Ang tagal ng tomorrow!” said to self in pure excitement. :))

I slept like a baby and woke up around 11:30am. I still have this warm feeling due to the events that happened last night. We ate lunch and we prepare ourselves to go home. I thought it would be best to go see Corazon first before we depart. So I was searching and searching. I can’t find her. Where the heck is she?! Sabi niya kikita kami today at mag-uusap? Di ko na natiis nakita ko si Badboy ng dance floor at tinanong ko si Corazon. “Dude nasaan si Corazon?” Ahh ‘yung ka-Blow&kiss mo? Said Badboy with the devilish grin. Wala na pre kita namin kanina sinundo ng asul na chikot. Di na nga halos nakapag paalam, dagdag pa ni Badboy. Medyo nalungkot ako kasi di ko man lang siya nakita o nakuha ang number ng kanyang cellular phone. Pero huwag mag-panic, makikita ko naman siya bukas Monday. Tatanong ko na lang kay Dustine ang kanyang digits sa cellphone. Due to frustration but still happy, natulog na lang ako maghapon sa bahay.

Come Monday morning. I was able to know her cellphone number thanks to Dustine. I sent her an sms: “Corazon, kamusta? Ako ito from the party sana naalala mo pa. We’re supposed to see each other before parting right? Pero napaaga daw ang uwi mo. I just wanna know if you’re okay. Please txtback *insert smiley here*”. After 30 mins. nagreply ang lola mo: “Hey.. Of course I remember you. My silly swimming instructor who failed to teach his student! Let’s meet up because I’m taking my money back! You, you slydog! Hahah kidding. Sorry bigla kasi ako sinundo. Txt na lang kita later kasi I’m on my computer class now. Need to focus, having trouble with the C++ language and all this logic shit. Ingats!”

Later that day she texted me meet na lang daw kami sa library. As usual ako ay eksayted, pabango muna ulit at ayos ng buhok wisik wisik onti. Haha.The next thing I remember I went home devastated. Tulala at broken hearted. She just told me to stay away from her. Wala daw ako mapapala at tigilan ko na siya. Madaming pa daw iba diyan pero huwag daw siya. Ganoon na lang ba iyon? After niya pinakita na interesado din siya. Eh yung 5 second kiss? Ha ano ibig sabihin nun? So ganyan na lang. Too many questions with vague or totally no answers at all. Ang sakit. Never felt that too much sadness would cause massive headache. Nakakawalang gana pumasok. Pero I have to, patay ako sa nanay ko eh.

So the days passed by and I went on with life, the heck I must go on with life! Hindi naman titigil ang mundo dahil lang sa isang babae na nakilala ko sa party at na-inlab ako. People move on because there is nothing else to do. Tinuloy ko lang ang routine ko sa school. Okay naman ang lahat pero nakikita ko siya madalas, sa labas ng classroom nila, sa square canteen at maging sa library kapag ako ay nag-iinternet. She still glances at me pero hanggang dun na lang. Until one day she texted me asking How’s everything? Kamusta na daw ba ako. Hindi na ako nagreply. Dinelete ko na ang number niya, block na sa YM ang account niya, (yup nakuha niya email ko) at maging sa Portal/forum ng University eh binlock ko na din. Bitter ko noh? Heheh.

The next lines will be the event after 2 years.

2005 na iyon, 3rd year na kami. Guess what? May girlfriend na ako at hindi na forever alone mode! Hehe nakilala ko si girlfriend taong 2003 din 2nd semester. Isang araw while waiting kay girlfriend eh naisipan ko mag internet muna sa library. Nag ccheck ako ng email, at sa kung bakit eh naalala ko pa iyong luma kong e-mail at inisip ko tignan dahil 2 years ko nang hindi nakikita yun dahil gumawa na ako ng bago. Take note hindi na Xkenshinhimura0316X@hotmail.com hahaha mas professional nang pakinggan ang email ko. So as I’ve said for the former email, I opened it and Boom with the 25k++ messages! I’m just curious about the emails that I got before I changed it. So I scrolled the July-October 2003 emails. I saw 2 emails from Corazon. Parang biglang nag-mini heart attack ako ‘nung makita ko name niya. Shet nag-email pa pala siya nun! That was exactly my reaction. Binasa ko ang email, nakasaad sa sulat ang storya niya at kung bakit niya sinabi sa akin na layuan ko na daw siya. To make long istorya short, isa pala siyang kabet, oo kabit. Mistress, other woman, third wheel, at kung anek anek pang third! Ang haba ng email niya, detalyado at during that time hindi niya daw kaya iwanan si Guy na itago na lang natin sa pangalang Bogart… Si Bogart ay 26 years old as per her email. May asawa at may isang anak. Mahaba ang email niya at hindi ko na ilalahad pa. Pero yan na ang pinaka juice ng sulat niya. Iyong isang email ay may pagitan na dalawang linggo. Gusto niya kaming magkita at gusto niya daw sana ako makausap dahil kakalas na daw siya kay Bogart. Nalaman na daw ng misis niya at hindi niya daw kaya sirain ang pamilya niya. Ayon sa sulat niya, siya ay malungkot at kailangan ng makakausap. Mag-reply daw ako at inilagay niya din ang cellphone number niya.

Buhat noon ay hindi ko na muling nasilayan si Corazon. I tried asking her friends and classmates about her whereabouts but to no avail. Hindi na din nila alam kung anu ang nangyari sa kanya after the events. I found out na wala din idea ang mga friends niya na siya ay naging mistress.

Year 2010 I found out about her facebook account. Tried adding her up. Inadd naman ako after months. Bihira lang siguro siya mag-online. Napag-alaman ko na siya ay nasa America ngayon at nagttrabaho sa isang advertising company. Okay naman ang naging buhay niya, may boyfriend siya ngayon at Pinoy ito ayon sa kanyang mga litrato. Sa kabilang banda, naisip ko lang ano kaya ang nangyari kung nasagot ko ang email niya at nakipag kita? Siguro may chance na magiging kami ni Corazon at siguro hanggang ngayon. Diyan na pumapasok ang “What-Ifs sa buhay”

Indeed life is so mysterious but that is also the reason why it’s worthy to face head on. There are things that we don’t want to happen but have to accept, things we don’t want to know but have to learn, and people we can’t bear to see leave us but have to let go.

 

 
2 Comments

Posted by on September 25, 2012 in Love.. and all other crap. <3

 

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